eBeanstalk - Baby Learning & Educational Toys

HELP! My Child Has Tantrums

2008-07-24T10:42:00.001-04:00

By Gopi K. Patel MSE.d, Special Educator

“My child often has tantrums 3-4 times a day—Help me—I can’t take these tantrums anymore,” is often a statement I hear from parents. Tantrums are part of growing up for every child; it is how we deal with them as parents that will determine how long they will continue.

The truth is tantrums are a LEARNED behavior. Even if it just happens once the child learns that when I cry, scream, throw myself on the floor—kicking and arms in every direction, “I WILL GET MY WAY”.

Tantrums usually occur when a child wants something and is frustrated because she can’t have it right away. When this happens parents usually give into the tantrum because they feel helpless. The problem is that as time goes by, with each episode the tantrums often get worse in their intensity, duration, and frequency.

To rid our world of tantrums, we as parents need not only learn how to deal with them once they occur, but identify a potential tantrum before it has begun.

Before the tantrum: The tell-tale signs of an on-coming tantrum are often whining, talking in a baby voice, repeating phrases over and over again, all with the intention to get his or her way. When the signs first appear say to your child (in business like voice),“use your big boy/girl voice and then I can talk to you”. If your child then asks for the same thing simply state, “you cannot have that right now. We are done talking about this now.” Repeat this as many times as necessary. Do not give in to them.

The tantrum has begun: Once a tantrum has begun walk out of the room or area you are in and ignore your child (if at home it often helps to go in a room where she cannot join you such as the bathroom/bedroom). If your child grabs on to you simply ignore them and go on with your task. If the tantrum starts getting severe in intensity where the child could hurt herself, others, or the environment— immediately remove her to a safe time out area. Then, simply state to her, “when you are quiet and ready to be with me I will come get you”. (It should be noted that a child should always know what your time out procedure is, before this is attempted).

Never give in because you feel your child has been in the time out too long. You are not a horrible parent if you let your child tantrum for a long period of time. Your child, just like you, is learning a new way of dealing with behaviors and consequences.

After the tantrum: once your child has been quiet for a couple minutes go to her and say “I am glad you are ready”/”I am glad to see you happy again”. At this point parents often get caught up in talking about the episode that triggered the tantrum, instead of dwelling on this, move on to the next activity or task. If she begins to cry and tantrum again—simply start the process all over again.

Here are some suggestions that have helped many of the families that I have worked with. It should be noted that the parents who were most successful in preventing tantrums dealt with these events in the most CONSISTENT manner. Every family is different, and unique, but every child needs LOVE, CONSISTENCY, and a POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT to grow in to his/her fullest potential.

Helpful Hints for Dealing with Tantrums:

Before doing a time a time out have a clear procedure for this place. Make sure it is in a safe place.

Parents should be in control of the situation, not their child

Both parents should work together to achieve results faster. (No good cop bad cop.)

Do not start talking about the tantrum as soon as it has ended — talk about it at a later, if you must.

State things a little bit differently—rather than stating what your child should NOT be doing, state what they can be doing (a child running around—instead of: “STOP running” say: “Use your walking feet”)

Tell your children before the task or activity what the rules are, what you expect from him or her.

Be calm and in control of yourself — these situations can at times get intense.

The best way to eliminate tantrums before they even begin is to positively reinforce your children. Tell them as often as you can what a great job they are doing—even if the task is simple.

PRAISE! PRAISE! PRAISE

Five Major Milestones for Early Physical Development

2008-07-07T12:06:00.003-04:00

By Deanie Barth, MSPT

The first year of a child’s life is its busiest and most important developmentally. It is at this time when they develop the muscle strength and control that will help them to hold their body up and move against gravity, to initiate purposeful movement and complete simple tasks. The acquisition of these simple skills will allow them to jump, run, play baseball, do gymnastics and clean their rooms when they get older.

There are many milestones over this first year that involve gross motor development, so to keep this piece short I tried to remember five major ones where parents called or emailed me so excited to share the good news. Or when I consoled a mother who missed the first time their child demonstrated acquisition of a milestone. It was hard to pick just five, but here goes in Letterman Style:

Gross Motor Milestone #5 -- Rolling Over

At around 2-3 months, if a child is placed on his side, he should be able to roll on to his back from his sides. At around 4-5 months, he will start to roll from his back all the way to his stomach. At this time and in these positions, his abdominals, back and neck strength are starting to increase to prepare him for...

Gross Motor Milestone #4 -- Sitting Independently

Around 6 months, your child should be able to sit independently without support. This is not to say you should place them on a stool and leave them – they are still pretty shaky at this time and may even still need a little help getting to this position. Give them a nice, padded environment to practice balancing, so if they topple over they will not get frustrated. You need to build that confidence up to get to…

Gross Motor Milestone #3 -- Crawling (technically known as creeping)

Once they are getting in and out of sitting positions independently, your curious little one will not be satisfied to stay in one place. Once they discover they can get on to all fours and actually move forward a bit to grab and destroy your cell phone or remote control, they will soon be racking up the miles on their hands and knees. Did you ever wonder why it doesn’t hurt their knees to crawl on them all day long? Here’s a little tip – it’s not because they’re so resilient at that age or because their adorable little legs are so pudgy, it’s because their knee caps don’t develop until they are toddlers! Isn’t that convenient? In any event, the reciprocal movement of their legs and arms prepare them for yet another milestone, which will come later. But first, on to…

Gross Motor Milestone #2 -- Standing up

Around 9 months, your child will start to pull to stand and then start cruising using furniture. This constant up and down, up and down to retrieve objects you would rather they not will help strengthen their legs. It’s the equivalent of squats at the gym for adults, but far more fun and adventurous. Pretty soon, they will be standing up without support of another object and at that point they are ready for the milestone of all milestones…

Gross Motor Milestone # 1 -- Walking!!!!!

Usually somewhere between 9 and 15 months of age, your little one will stand up and take a step or two. At first, they walk with their legs spread wide apart and their hands way up in the air. This helps to increase their base of support and assist their balance. As their muscles get stronger and their balance improves, you will see a narrower base of support and their arms lower until they are swinging appropriately at their sides. At this time, prepare to be on high alert because with walking comes increased curiosity and an intense need to explore their environment without boundaries. Good luck!

Please keep in mind these time frames are guidelines and not absolutes. If you have concerns that your child may not be achieving milestones at an appropriate age, consult your pediatrician.

Eye-Hand Coordination — A Team That Works Together To Get The Job Done

2008-06-09T11:57:00.002-04:00

By Barbara Greenspan OT, pediatric occupational therapist

Many of us think eye-hand coordination is something the ‘big-kids’ need to play team sports like baseball and tennis. But actually, eye-hand coordination begins developing in early infancy. In order to achieve proper coordination, the hands and eyes must work together in smooth and efficient patterns. This is achieved through effective control of the head and neck, which enables the eyes to monitor the work of the hands.

The Eyes: Nature has it set up so that controlled eye movements developmentally precede controlled hand movements. That is why babies use their eyes before they master the use of their hands. As infants, eyes develop in a clear developmental sequence as follows:

From birth to 3 months is something called ‘localization’ –where infants locate a visual target like mom or a toy

At four months is ‘Fixation’ where the baby can maintain a stationary gaze (stare at an object)

At five months is ‘Ocular Pursuit’ typically starts. Where the baby can smoothly track an object with the eyes (follow a toy as it moves, watch mom move around the room)

At six months ‘Gaze Shifting’ begins. This is when the child quickly and accurately shifts her gaze, moving independently from the head (watch a moving toy while keeping the head still)

The Hands: Just like the eyes develop in a sequence designed for function, so do the hands.

First the baby learns to grasp an object.

Next they grasp and release objects (think of dropping food from the high chair).

The baby then learns to move an object within the hand (in-hand manipulation) and then use two hands together to play or hold an object (bilateral hand skills).

All this hand development is done through playing with objects and toys.

Mastery of reaching for objects requires good postural control of the head, neck, trunk and upper arms. These areas must be strong before good hand manipulation occurs. Think of a tree-the trunk must be strong in order to support the branches (so much goes in to this eye-hand coordination!).

The first “tool” for eye-hand: When the hands are developing they progress from a simple grasp-release pattern through using tools and objects. The first real “tool” introduced to the hand is the spoon for self-feeding. The hand holds it and the eyes watch the spoon to direct it from the food on the plate to the mouth. As the child grows, they use more refined tools like crayons (use small, broken ones to fit the little hands!) and the eyes are watching as the hand moves the crayon. As the child gets older, he or she can begin to follow mazes and use the eyes to lead the hand in the right direction. In pre-school at 3 or 4 years old, he or she begin to cut with scissors and use the eyes to direct their hands.

Ways to work on eye-hand:

Playing ball is a great way to work on eye-hand coordination. Start rolling a ball to your baby and watch his or her eyes follow the ball.

Playing with a balloon (filled with air) is a great way to get the eyes to follow a moving object because a balloon moves so slowly, it is easy to follow.

As your child grows you can work on throwing and catching with a playground ball and progress to a smaller ball. Tennis balls are great fun to catch and throw for 4 and 5 year olds. Warm these kids up with a big ball and progress to a smaller ball when they are successful.

Dribbling is also a great activity to develop eye-hand coordination. Four, five and six year olds feel so good about themselves when they can dribble with one hand and then progress to alternating hands!

Eye-hand coordination is something that begins to develop at birth and continues throughout childhood. It is a skill children use daily in their occupations as students and athletes - and for just plain fun! So enjoy, and notice how much you use your eyes to direct your hands! You will be amazed!

Potty Training 101 - Get ready, get set, GO!

2008-05-29T11:44:00.000-04:00

by Gopi K. Patel MSE.d

Parents often call me saying “HELP — I can’t get my 3 year old near the potty”. Becoming potty trained is a huge milestone for children and their thankful parents and both will find the most joy and a sense of accomplishment when this goal is met together.

There are some important things I would like to say about the process of being potty trained before getting started. Do not compare your children to their siblings or peers because each child will learn this at his or her own pace. Potty training is a learned behavior thus some children pick this up as early as 18 months, while others take as long as 5 years. In addition, boys often take longer than girls to become potty trained. Please note that if a child has developmental delays the ages can vary as well.

In my experience I think 2 1/2 years of age is a good time to get started. If you have been CONSISTENTLY potty training your child and find that he or she is having difficulty learning this skill, as a precautionary measure, please have your physician examine your child.

SO LET’S GET STARTED…

The three most important things to remember when potty training your child are CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENCY!

PREPARATION

1. Take your child into the bathroom and show them how to use the toilet while telling your child what you are doing. He or she can even help out by flushing the toilet, waving bye to ____,____!!! Some children are scared of the flush — so being with them is a great way to assuage their fear before they actually have to do it for themselves.

2. Make sure to have either a training toilet seat, which goes on the toilet itself or a miniature potty in the bathroom. When your child is comfortable ask your little one if they would like to sit. Do not force your child to do this and immediately praise him or her for doing so.

3. Take your child to the store with you and have them pick out their “big boy” or “big girl” underwear and tell everyone you can this, so your child will know that it’s something to be proud of. Let your child know when you are ready to get started that “today you are going to wear your “big boy” or “big girl” underwear.

The Waiting

Remind your child to tell you when he or she has to go potty. If that doesn’t work, I recommend that parents start off taking their children to the potty every 20-30 minutes. Try to keep track of how long he or she stays dry and take them to the potty accordingly. Once the pattern has been established you may find that they do not need regular reminders to use the potty. Children should sit on the potty for 2-3 minutes each time they use it. Do NOT get upset with your child for having accidents!!! Do not question them —“why didn’t you tell me”, and do not look at them with anger or frustration.

Remember to start potty training when you know you can be consistent — diapers/pull ups one day and underwear the next will only confuse your child.

Positive Reinforcement

Go to the store and buys special potty treats and toys and have them in a box in the bathroom where he or she can see, but not reach them. Tell your little one that he or she can pick one out every time he makes on the potty. Do NOT give in by giving he or she these items at other times.

As soon as your child starts getting more successful on the potty create a sticker chart 5 stickers earns you a toy or treat. Hang the chart right in the bathroom where it can be seen.

Praise your child for sitting and eventually urinating/having a bowel movement, show your excitement with your facial expressions as well as your words.

Other Tips

It helps some children to have the faucet water on when they are sitting on the potty.

Some parents find it helpful to give more liquids during the training period.

It may help to read to your child while he/she is sitting on the potty.

Your child will learn to urinate first and then have bowel movements.

Night time potty training should be done after day time training is mastered.

Some parents let their little ones sit in the wet underwear few minutes longer for them to understand/feel how uncomfortable they are before changing into dry clothes.

Use pretend play skills to have a favorite stuffed animal/doll go on the potty. Have your child put on a pair of underwear on the doll or stuffed animal. Read potty books.

Follow these tips and should be well on your way and remember CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENCY!!!!

It's All About the Core

2008-04-22T14:38:00.004-04:00

By Deanie Barth, MSPT Physical Therapist

As an adult, you’re used to hearing how important it is to keep your core (trunk and abdominals) strong. The same is true for your infant and toddler. As a matter of fact, a strong core is the foundation towards achieving very important milestones such as crawling, standing and walking. And it all begins as soon as your child is born.

As soon as your child enters this world, curiosity will get the best of him. From birth to 3 months of age, your child will actually begin to work on his core strength. First, you will notice his attempts to lift his head when you hold him over your shoulder. It will begin with clumsy head bobbing, but sooner than you think he will begin to hold it upright to explore the world around him. He will also start to rotate his head in response to sounds. Next, you will find if you place him on his stomach, he will attempt to lift his head up.

Between 3 and 6 months, tummy time gets a little more serious. Your child’s neck strength will continue to develop and he will be able to hold his head up without bobbing and will take weight through his forearms. As his upper back and arms get stronger, you’ll see him attempt to push up on to extended arms. Pretty soon, he’ll be shifting his weight back and forth from one arm to the other and if you entice him with entertaining objects, he may even reach out for one while bearing all of his weight through only one arm. If he likes tummy time, you may find that when placed on his back, he will roll onto his stomach. This should be encouraged because it helps to strengthen abdominal muscles as well as back muscles.

Once your child reaches 6 months, he’ll really start moving. You’ll find if he doesn’t like tummy time, he’ll just flip himself right back onto his back. Although this can be frustrating for a parent who is trying to encourage tummy time, just remember that these repeated motions help to further strengthen his trunk. Around this time, your child will also start to sit without your support. It is recommended that you make his environment as soft as possible so that if he topples over he won’t be afraid to do it again. His balance will not be up to par and this is because of still inadequate trunk strength. However, the more he is able to recover from a loss of balance, the stronger he will become. A common mistake I see parents make is constantly holding their children at this time or allowing them to lean on them for support whenever they are sitting. While you don’t want to frustrate your child who may seek support, it is important to allow specified times of the day for your child to learn how to gain control over their body and this comes with trial and error. You can further strengthen your child’s upper back and abdominals by encouraging them to pull on your fingers to achieve sitting. You can start with your child lying on an incline for the beginner and then gradually reduce the incline and offer less support as your child becomes stronger.

As your child approaches 9 months, his trunk strength is developed well enough to get ready for locomotion. You will find that when he is placed on his stomach, he will start to push himself up onto all fours. He will also spend more time bearing weight through only one arm while playing with objects with the other. If you place one of his favorite toys just out of reach, the next thing you know, he’ll be crawling forward just slightly to retrieve it. Crawling not only will further strengthen his core and arms, but it also encourages reciprocal (alternating) movement of the lower extremities, which is necessary for walking.

Between 9 and 12 months your child will be crawling all over your home, but he will soon realize that the only way to truly get into mischief is to not only crawl over to the desired target, but to be able to reach it as well. He will begin attempting to pull to stand to objects and cruising along objects. At first, he will stand with his legs wide apart and if he does let go of the stabilizing object, he will hold his arms high in the air. Once again, this is because of inadequate trunk strength and he requires this positioning to maintain his balance. As his strength improves, so will his balance and with that you will see his base of support become more narrow and his arms drop lower and lower. Once your child is able to maintain his balance in standing unsupported, he will begin what most people believe to be the most important gross motor milestone of all – walking.

There are so many ways you can play with your child to strengthen their trunk and thereby achieve these very important milestones.

Here are a few of my favorites…

For tummy time, I love...


Kick and Play Playground	Taggies Look At Me Mirror

For encouraging upright sitting while reaching with arms to retrieve objects...


Big Top Sounds	Stacking Toy and Ball Game

Follow me Fred is the perfect incentive for a child to crawl.


Follow me Fred

Together Tunes Cube is a great toy to work on standing.


Together Tunes Cube

My all time favorite for the child who is about to walk on their own is the Chomp and Clack.


Chomp and Clack

Remember, to safely achieve goals, your child should be supervised at all times and assisted when necessary. Also, keep in mind that the about mentioned time frames should serve as guidelines, not absolutes. However, if you feel your child is significantly behind these time frames, we recommend you consult your pediatrician.

Move Your Body

2008-03-25T11:21:00.004-04:00

By Barbara Greenspan, MS, OTR
Pediatric Occupational Therapist

Children love to move their bodies! From the time they are born they are moving and learning how to direct their muscles to do purposeful movements. Newborns have many reflexes and this is where movement begins. Often babies are swaddled tightly and many (not all!) love this! This “tight input” gives their bodies feedback and they begin to feel their own bodies.

As babies grow, they become more active and begin to explore their worlds using their muscles. Sensory input from the muscles, joints and ligaments is crucial for telling us where our bodies are in space. This is known as “Proprioception” and it is an important feedback system that directs our muscles and tells us how where we are and how much force or pressure to place on an object. This system is used when grading how hard to throw a ball or how much pressure to put on a pencil while writing.

When many of us were growing up, we played outside and climbed trees and fences. It was through all the climbing, swinging and running that we all learned about how to move our bodies. That level of play exploration set our bodies up for later learning in school. Because of all the early muscle movement, we were prepared to sit at our desks at school and learn.

Today we (and especially our children) are becoming much more dependent on technology. Our children are feeling this (literally) and are so much more engaged in the 2-dimensional world of television and video games. As parents, we need to be much more conscious and committed to making sure that our children get the physical input they need to their bodies. “Heavy work” activities are tasks that give feedback to the muscles, joints and ligaments. These types of activities require pushing, pulling, lifting, carrying and anything other physical task that requires us to move our muscles.

eBeanstalk is committed to selecting toys that help children learn on so many levels. Both Deanie Barth (our Physical Therapist) and I have specifically selected toys that require a child’s muscles do this “heavy work.” These toys are great at giving them feedback to their bodies so that they will be successful in their lives as athletes, artists and students.

Here are eBeanstalk’s top 10 toys that give the muscles feedback by requiring them to do this “heavy work”:


Rody the Horse	Mega Maze	Bounce Around	Hop 45

Monster Clompers	Pink Princess	Twist Trike	Plasma Car

Hop Scotch	Play Foam

Spring is finally here! This is a great time to climb trees, ride bikes, run up and roll down hills and use those muscles!!!

Preventing Family Headaches

2008-02-26T12:30:00.002-05:00

Using The Three “R’s” (Rules, Rituals, and Rewards) In Parenting
by Andy Eig PhD.
Clinical Psychologist

Since my last article, you all have become experts in giving time-outs. For some of you, it has worked out wonderfully – for others, well, not so much. You have been doling time-outs so frequently that you feel more like a hockey referee giving penalties than a parent. So, let us discuss how to prevent time-outs and cranky behavior in your 3 to 5 year old.

Before we go any further, I want to throw out a word of caution. We are not out to sculpt perfectly behaved children. All children need time be grumpy, defiant, and even unruly at times. Challenging parents and sticking up for themselves builds strength of character in your children. That being said, all children need sensible rules and limits in order to feel safe and to grow into productive members of society. They also need to feel a sense of empowerment and enjoyment when they are behaving well. In order to keep the parental headaches of nasty disruptive children away, we need to use the three “R’s” of parenting: rules, rituals and rewards.

Rules: We all need rules. You and I need rules and so do your kids. Exactly what the rules are in each household will depend on the parents own values. As a guideline, you want family rules to help keep children safe and to help them know, understand and follow the conventions of society. Rules in the household need to be sensible and clear to your three to five year old. Perhaps more important than what the actual rules are, each parent must agree on them and enforce them consistently. I call this the united front of parenthood.

Rituals: Kids do well with a structured day. They need to have daily rituals and know what is going to happen next. For instance, kids need to have a wake up time, stimulating play time, a bed time, bath time, meal and snack time. Most days this should follow the same predictable progression.

Rewards: How do you get your kids to follow the rewards and rituals I just have talked about? Take one guess. Rewards. Most kids (if not all) listen and behave better when positively motivated. Most of the current child behavioral research concurs that kids feel much better about themselves earning rewards rather than avoiding punishments. Set up a reward system for your child if they are having difficulty following the guidelines of the day. One great way is to have a reward chart that your child helps design. For each task of the day, your child gets a sticker or a very small reward if he or she does it well. Brushing teeth gets a sticker. Going to sleep and not coming out of your room once “Good Night” is said deserves another sticker. At the end of the week, your child can get a small toy if they earn enough stickers. E-beanstalk has so many inexpensive developmentally appropriate toys to choose from that you and your child can order on line.

By using rules, rituals, and rewards, your family can have more time to enjoy each other. Try it out. Using rewards rather than punishments will go a long way in motivating your child and building positive self-esteem.

It's Never Too Early to Work on Your Ball Game

2008-02-12T14:37:00.000-05:00

Deanie Barth, MSPT

Physical Therapist

When working with young children, a question commonly asked by parents is when their child should be able to catch and throw a ball. After the phenomenal catch made by David Tyree in this past Super Bowl, this has become an even more popular question with parents eager to groom their children early. The development of ball skills start very early in life. A child does not simply wake up one day with the ability to accurately catch and throw and kick a ball, it is a learning process just like any other acquired skill. Catching and throwing a ball not only requires the ability to manipulate an object, but it also requires adequate trunk stability and postural control. Kicking a ball requires a certain degree of balance and coordination. There are so many different ways a parent can play with their child to help facilitate these very important building blocks.

Picking up a ball, catching a ball and throwing a ball requires the ability to manipulate an object and the process begins in the first year when a child starts to gain control of his hands. At about 2 months, holding an object becomes more intentional rather than reflexive. By 3 months a child will begin reaching for objects, rotating them and bringing them to the mouth. Some excellent toys for this stage are The Tizoo and The Taggies Soft Blocks. Between 4-5 months, a child will begin holding an object, such as a bottle, with two hands. I recommend the Taggies Nest and Stack Blocks and the Whoozit Icicle Toy. By 6 months an infant is able to transfer an object from one hand to the other. By the time your child has reached 9-10 months, he is able to manipulate objects in a coordinated fashion to complete a desired task such as opening and closing boxes and taking objects in and out of them. A few toys that will help achieve these milestones are The Stacking Toy and Ball Game, Fishbowl Fill and Spill, The Hungry Pelican, Big Top Sounds and ABC Building Blocks.

Between the ages of 1-3, more active ball skills develop. By 1 year, a child should be able to stop a ball that is rolled to him while he is sitting and very shortly after, he should be able to roll it back. A great ball for this is the Nobbie Gertie Ball which has small bumps on it to make catching much easier. As your child starts walking, he will become more interested in attempting to throw, kick and catch balls. Between 1 ½ to 2 years of age, your child will be able to throw a ball (not necessarily accurately) and kick a ball a few feet. To do this, he must be able to use his trunk to assist with throwing as well as using it to stabilize to maintain his balance after a throw is complete. This requires adequate trunk strength and postural control. To kick a ball, a child must be able to sustain single leg stance for brief periods of time. A ride on toy is an excellent way to build trunk strength and because mounting a ride on toy requires brief moments in single leg stance while holding onto an unstable object, it will also help enhance balance. The Trike ‘N Trailer is especially recommended because not only will your child be able to ride the trike, but he’ll have a trailer that will carry balls as well.

Around the age of 2, your child should be able to catch a large ball with both arms, often using their trunk to trap it against. Throwing becomes more accurate and balls travel farther distances and in a straighter line when kicked. The Basketball Hoop is the perfect toy to begin working on throwing accuracy and coordination. Between the ages of 3-4, your child should be able to throw a small ball with one hand for distances of about 10 feet and will also be able to catch a small ball. Fun Gripper Balls are a good choice for smaller balls because the easier grip helps improve accuracy which reduces frustration and makes playing more enjoyable. The Jungle Bean Bag Toss is a sure bet to improve aim and encourage throwing with one arm and will keep them entertained for long periods of time.

After the age of 4, your child is ready for the big leagues and more sport specific toys are recommended based on their preferences. Please remember that the timeframes given are guidelines with degrees of variability. As with any hobby, different children have different interests and ability will reflect this. Be sure to make play enjoyable and structure it so that your child does not become frustrated and lose interest. With practice, motivation and the right toys, perhaps it will be your child catching that victory touchdown, pitching a perfect game or scoring the winning goal in the not so distant future!

Play is a lot more than fun and games

2008-01-31T10:29:00.000-05:00

Shari Harpaz, MS CCC-SLP
Speech Pathologist

Play has a very strong influence on a child’s language development. It is the precursor to language when children are very young. And as play skills become more creative the language that they use becomes more complex.

At first you’ll notice that a child plays quietly and primarily focuses on exploring how a toy works. As their pretend play skills emerge, they will begin to comment on what they see and/or what they are doing. And then, when they start playing with other children the language they use becomes more social and conversational and as their social skills develop they may use more complex language to negotiate during cooperative play and/or to explore new scenarios.

Below are some of the key stages of play and the language that coincides with them.

Birth – 1 year:

In this first year, a child focuses on exploring objects using their sense of touch with their hands and mouthing of objects. They learn about object permanence (a hidden object still exists), means-end behavior, and cause-and-effect. They will begin to babble but there is no use of ‘real words’ at this age.

Two great baby toys that help to develop these skills are the Stacking Toy and Ball game and the Peek-a-boo Love you Book.

Stacking Toy & Ball Game	Peek-a-boo Love You Book

1 year – 2 years:

This is a dramatic year in terms of play and language skills development. A child will demonstrate autosymbolic play (i.e. acting out familiar activities, such as drinking from a cup or eating with a spoon) and use single words to label objects/actions within the context of what they are doing. They progress to symbolic play (i.e. using dolls to perform the actions on) at which time you will notice a burst in their language. Their expressive vocabulary will increase and they will begin to combine 2 words.

Three toddler toys that encourage this type of play are the The Super
Shapes Dump Truck, Touch and Feel ABC Letters, and Teddy Bears
Schoolhouse.

Super Shapes Dump Truck	Touch & Feel ABC Letters	Teddy Bears Schoolhouse

2 years – 3 years:

Your child will engage in parallel play near their peers. They act out less frequently occurring events (i.e. going on a trip). These events trigger questions and you will notice that your child will begin answering these questions… what, why, when and how.

The Wooden Cash Register, the Lift off Rocket and My First Purse are all
great 2 year old toys which serves as props for these more complex pretend
play events.

Wooden Cash Register	Lift Off Rocket	My First Purse

3 years – 4 years:

Your child will engage in associative play in which they include their peers. These new joint activities require language that helps them explain their ideas, predict what will happen next, engage in dialogue, and describe what’s happening using a broader range of adjectives.

Theatre Stage with Puppets, Dino Adventure, and a Day at the Zoo are all good 3 year old toys that really help expand the imagination of children.

Theatre Stage with Puppets	Dino Adventure	Day at the Zoo

4 years – 5 years:

Cooperative play with peers and role-playing will continue to develop with children of this age. Their use of complex sentences will evolve with it. Your child will begin to use conjunctions (and, but, or) and relational terms (first, then etc.) and they will learn to use language to negotiate with their peers.

My First Chemistry Set, Fizzy Foamy Science and Make your own Cards are all great 4 year old toys that will peak your child’s interest.

My First Chemistry Set	Fizzy Foamy Science	Make Your Own Cards

To your child play is all about fun, but it’s also how they learn and grow in the early years. Encourage their exploration of new toys and their imaginations. The language that emerges will amaze you.

ebeanstalk.com

Great Indoor Winter Play Ideas!

2008-01-28T10:53:00.000-05:00

Barbara Greenspan, MS, OTR

Pediatric Occupational Therapist

Even though it is soooo cold outside, you can still play indoors with your children and get their bodies moving!!!

Remember, children learn through movement. Here are 10 great ideas to do inside.

1. MAKE A FORT: And if you want some help, we have the Superfort. Use that as a start, gather some extra blankets, pillows and small chairs and start building a cozy spot. You will be amazed at the creative thinking that evolves!

2. DESIGN AN OBSTACLE COURSE: Use sofa cushions, chairs, small tables, jump ropes and mats. Design a course where your child moves his body up, down and all around. Learn about prepositions at the same time (over, under and through).

3. COOK: Make playdough, cookies, pizza. Get those arms and hands mixing and moving!

4. BUILD A HOUSE: Use ebeanstalk’s Unit Blocks or chose from our other 10 types of blocks and build castles, garages and pretend beach scenes (wishful thinking!). Use the opportunity to learn about shapes through building.

5. PAINT: Move those arms and paint big pictures. ebeanstalk’s Door Easel is a great way to cover lots of space while making huge arm movements.

6. CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY: Relax in a warm bath and have some water fun! Gather up lots of animals and play games in water. Bring a bit of warmth to your day! We have the Jungle Waterfall and Tub Tunes. Make a musical jungle in the tub!

7. SING A SONG: Gather up the instruments and make a marching band! March all over the house while shaking a tambourine.

8. LET’S PLAY DRESS UP: Get all dressed up in costumes and put on a show! Invite the neighbors, too!

9. FIGURE THIS OUT: Curl up by the fire and do some puzzles. With older children (3 and up), teach them to do the outside border first, then the inside last. Help them match colors together. Show them the picture on the box. Strong visual skills make good learners!

The weather outside may be frightful, so spend some quality time together and enjoy!

10. ANYTHING ELSE: I’m sure I missed some fun activities…please let me know other fun-in-the-house activities.

Happy Hibernating!

ebeanstalk.com

eBeansTALK Presentation

2008-01-14T15:56:00.001-05:00

The Top 10 Toys (not just for the holidays)

2007-12-10T14:39:00.000-05:00

These toys are great for small motor development and dexterity

by Barbara Greenspan, OT Pediatric Occupational Therapist

Movement, dexterity and thinking skills are just some of the skills OT’s address on a daily basis. The following are toys that focus on these three skills specifically:

Stacking Cups and Nest and Stack Buckets, too! These are 2 great “starter” toys that help develop arm and hand movement. Learning colors and stacking cups in size order helps build strong brains! (6 months and up) more »
Zolo Linko - First babies learn to pull the links apart and later they learn to put the pieces together. The colors are bright and exciting. Linkos even feel good enough to bite when teeth are “coming in”.
(newborn and up) more »
Choose an easel. We have 3! The Table-Top Easel, the Deluxe Standing Easel and the Door Easel. Young writer’s arms and hands are positioned so well for writing or painting on a slanted or upright surface.
(2 years and up) more »
Sandwich Making Set. Straight from the deli counter - this toy has great qualities! Your child uses 2 hands together to prepare a special dish for you! (2 ½ years
and up) more »
Blocks, Blocks and More Blocks. eBeanstalk has so many to choose from. Start with simple ones (Knock, Knock Blocks, Castle Blocks, Wood-like Soft Blocks) and progress to the Unit Blocks. The sky is the limit when building with blocks. (6 months and up) more »
Magneatos - A very cool toy! Also a building toy, but with different shapes and magnets. Strengthen arms and hands while creating very modern sculptures!
(3 1/4 years and up) more »
Hop, Jump, Hop, Jump. A great toy to get your child moving their body in a coordinated way. We call it Gross Motor Coordination. Hop Skotch floor tiles, first hop on 1 foot, then jump on 2, then repeat over and over again. A great way to work on these important skills and have fun all at the same time.
(3 ¼ years and up) more »
And jump some more…Hop Fantasy and Hop 45 are 2 great big balls with handles. Your child sits on top and jumps and jumps and jumps ….(3 years and up) more »
Snails Pace Race Game. Our favorite “starter” board game. Learn to take turns early on. Get acquainted with colors and rolling the dice. Prepares every child for future board game championships! (3 years and up) more »
Wedgits Starter Set is a thinking toy that helps develop strong “Visual Perceptual” skills. See the pattern and copy it! (3 ¼ years and up) more »

So there they are, the top 10 toys that will help your well-rounded child develop. Enjoy!

If you have any questions for Barbara, or any other members of ebeanstalk’s experts, please email us at info@ebeanstalk.com

Happy Holidays!

Hey Parents, Time Out! Using Time Outs Properly and Effectively.

2007-11-15T14:02:00.000-05:00

by Andy Eig PhD.

When it comes to their toddlers and preschoolers, parents ask me more questions about time outs than any other issue. Parents often get confused as to when to try them and how to implement them. I have seen them used very effectively. But, more times than not, I have seen them misused. Let us see if we can clarify how to employ this powerful parenting tool.

Time Outs: What are they?
Let us start with what they are not -- punishments. A time out is intended to remove the child from a disruptive way of behaving so that the child can calm him or herself and reflect upon what he or she has done. Time outs are not intended to be harsh or noxious in any way. For example, 4-year-old Theo is pushing his friends at the playground. The other children have repeatedly told him to stop and so have the adult caretakers. Theo’s mom then steps in and gives Theo a time out for pushing and not listening. Theo and his mom go to a playground bench away from the action, and Theo sits and collects himself. When Theo and his mom decide that he is ready, he returns to his friends and apologizes to them for pushing. Theo’s mom has been calm but assertive. She does say that Theo is “bad” or that he is punished. She merely says that Theo is in time out until he is ready to listen and stop pushing. She may even ask Theo to use his words rather than to push.

Time Outs: Who are they for?
In my opinion, time outs are for any kid that can understand what a time out is. An 18 month old child is too young for a time out. They view it as abandonment not a time where they can collect themselves. Time outs apply mainly to children who are three and older. Some children are more assertive and defiant and may need time-outs (many of them) to help contain them. Other kids are more mellow and cooperative and do not require disciplining in this manner at all. The fact that a child requires frequent time outs or none at all does not make them or their parents deficient in any way, it is often simply a reflection of a child’s personality. Each child may need certain types of parenting at different times in their lives.

Time Outs: How to give them.
For most pre-schoolers, a warning that if they do not stop a behavior, they will be in time out is best. Once the warning is given and the child fails to respond, then a time out should be given. Backing down or not following through just confuses the child. Here are some tips for giving time outs…

Take the child to a quiet part of the room.
Tell them they are in time out and stay with them.
Kids at a pre-school age need to see a caregiver or parent while they are in time out. Having them go to their room alone can be too anxiety provoking for someone this age.
The time out should end when the child is calm and acknowledges that he or she is ready to go back and play.
When the time out is over, remind your son or daughter why they were given a time out and tell them that you love them and have them go back to their activity.

Time Outs: Prevention
As I mentioned before, some kids just need the structure of time outs and they will get many of them during the day until they can monitor themselves better. Although some children will require somewhat frequent time outs, most do not. If you find yourself doling them out left and right and you are more of a referee than a parent, it is time to re-evaluate your parenting game plan. Make sure your children are well fed, rested, and have a structured schedule that keeps them interested and engaged in the world around them. Bored, tired, and hungry children are a recipe for a time out disaster.

Perhaps the best way to prevent time-outs is to use a reward system of sorts. Motivate your child with positive rewards rather than with time outs. For instance, if your daughter always screams and cries when she goes to the market with you, remind before and during the trip that if she behaves she gets something special (stickers, a favorite dinner, or a healthy treat). Look for my next article, which will go into the use of positive rewards in more detail.

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2007-10-17T13:20:00.000-04:00

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Blog Roll

2007-10-17T13:10:00.000-04:00

Below is a list of related blogs or blogs we love:

eBeanstalk experts select the best learning and developmental toys

2007-10-16T17:18:00.000-04:00

"The Child Specialists"

Our team of child specialists brings a comprehensive approach to child development. Using their collective experiences - Shari, Andy, Deanie, Jenn, Barbara, and Gopi - ensure each and every facet of child development is covered. Specifically, they looked at over 10,000 toys, selected the best learning toys and matched each to a stage of development. They also create graduated play ideas for each toy, author the eBeanstalk instruction cards, answer great FAQs, and much, much more.

For great information and guidance on child development, please read their FAQs.

1. Andy Eig, PhD.

clinical psychologist
social and emotional skills

View my FAQ

2. Deanie Barth, MSPT

physical therapist
dexterity and locomotion skills

View my FAQ

3. Shari Harpaz, MS CCC-SLP

speech pathologist
language and imagination skills

View my FAQ

4. Barbara Greenspan, OT

pediatric ocupational therapist
dexterity skills

View my FAQ

5. Jenn Berman, M.F.T., Psy.D.

marriage, family and child therapist
child development and parenting

View my FAQ

6. Gopi K. Patel, MSE.d

Special Educator
behavioral therapy and parent training

View my FAQ

"The mother board^SM"

Over 700 Moms (all with children from 0-5 years of age) comprise eBeanstalk's Mother Board. The Mother Board acts as our nationwide 'governing body' — playing with the toys, rating each and every toy on the site, and providing us valuable feedback.

The Mother Board is an integral part of eBeanstalk. Thank you Moms!

Taming the Beast

2007-10-15T18:56:00.000-04:00

Five Elements of Successfully Disciplining Your Toddler

By Dr. Andrew Eig – eBeanstalk Child Specialist

Moms ask me all the time how to talk to toddlers (ages 2 to 4) so that they can be understood when they are trying to instill discipline. Here are a few tips that can be very useful in trying to tame your delightful little beast.

1. An Ounce of Prevention. The old adage is true—an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. A tired, hungry, or bored toddler is trouble waiting to happen. Kids listen best when they are kept to an that allows them time to play, rest, and eat. If your child is tired, irritable, or cranky much of the time, chances are he or she is not able to follow the rules of the house. Check your child’s schedule and make sure they are getting enough time to rest as well as enough time to be active and play time (especially play time with their parents).

2. Be positive. Rewards and praise work much better than punishment. In fact, at this age, I would avoid punishments altogether. Toddlers have a difficult time understanding what a punishment is. They end up feeling confused and bad about themselves. When your toddler is following the rules, praise him or her. Motivate your child by offering small rewards such as stickers or small toys. They will gain a sense of accomplishment through earning rewards.

3. Keep it simple and direct. Set limits in a calm, firm tone of voice. If you are too angry or upset, your child may be reacting more to your tone than to the actual words. Tell your child what you want to be done and why in a way that they can understand. Something like, “Susie, time to brush your teeth. We brush our teeth everyday so we keep our teeth from getting sick.” Or, “David, we can’t run here. The sign says it is too dangerous for children to run here.” Toddlers have short attention spans. You need to tell them what to do in simple, specific, non-judgmental language.

4. Avoid power struggles. Every parent of a toddler knows that it is impossible to avoid all power struggles with toddlers. True, but pick your battles. A great trick is to offer your child a choice between 2 or even 3 activities. For instance, if you are trying to get you child to join you in drawing a picture, ask her if she wants to start with the purple or red crayon. You can also ask her which crayon you should use. Similarly, if it is time to leave the playground and you know your son will not want to leave, start the two minute rule. Tell him that in two minutes, you will be leaving the playground. This technique may take some time to work. But soon, your toddler, will be following the two-minute rule and even ask when two minutes are up.

5. Consistency is key. Parents should be a united front when it comes to discipline. They need to agree on the rules and stick to it. If there is a disagreement between you and your spouse, discuss it away from the children and come up with a consistent plan. Children need firm and consistent guidelines from their parents.

I hope that some of these tips help you get through the toddler years. Keep in mind that challenging you and being unruly is developmentally appropriate for toddlers. If you are having continued difficulty with your child or just want to learn more, seek out help from your pediatrician, educator, or child psychologist. Many parents find that even one consultation with a specialist can be immensely helpful.

Understanding the different modes & styles of learning

2007-10-15T18:53:00.000-04:00

By Shari Harpaz - Speech-Language Pathologist

As adults, we all have various strengths and weaknesses. The same is true when it comes to styles of learning – there are some styles that are very effective for us and some that don’t work as well. Sometimes we lose sight of this when it comes to our children. Once a child enters school, we often assume that they are going to learn all subjects with equal ease, not taking into account the method by which their teacher chooses to teach them. Since this is clearly not a fair assumption to make, it is important to understand how different learning cues can help your child throughout their school-aged years.

Children use a combination of modalities to help them learn and as they grow they may start favoring one learning style over another. For example, newborns will rely heavily on tactile (touch) input to relate to the world around them, but as they develop, they will begin to use visual, motor, and auditory (sounds) cues with greater frequency.

By the time they are toddlers tactile cues are used less frequently (e.g. they will no longer mouth objects) and they will more readily seek visual, motor, and/or auditory input. Children’s songs such as Wheels on the Bus and Itsy Bitsy Spider are a great example of auditory, motor, tactile, and visual cues used in combination to sustain the toddler’s attention and interest.

As a child moves towards the pre-school and school-aged years, the majority of input will be through visual and auditory cues and less so through tactile and motor stimulation.

As children progress through their school years, they may have a stronger preference for one modality over another in helping them learn. For example: If your child has an easier time copying a design after you have demonstrated it, they may be more of a visual learner. However, if your child is able to listen to your directions and create the intended design on their own, they may be more of an auditory learner. Thus by understanding your child’s preferred cues, you can better assist them in their schoolwork and in achieving their highest potential.

Please keep in mind that for infants, toddlers and pre-schoolers it is ideal to use cues from as many modalities as possible in helping them learn about the world around them. However, as your child progresses through the school age years, you may want to supplement what they are learning in school using the modes/strategies that favor your child’s strengths.

For further information regarding styles of learning, I recommend A Mind at a Time by Mel Levine, MD

Below is a brief description of the different modalities and how they may impact learning:

1. Tactile (touch): This includes all the ways that things in the environment feel: textures (silky, rough, hard, soft etc.), size, wet/dry, slippery to name a few. We can also feel motion (i.e. the direction an object rotates).

2. Motor: Once a child begins moving around in their environment, their ability to explore increases infinitely. They obtain a better sense of themselves as related to the world around them and can now reach objects that were not available to them when stationary.

3. Visual: Visual input includes everyday objects and images, pictures, facial expressions, gestures (i.e. waving hello). The visual cues may help add context and meaning to the spoken word and help us remember the information better. However, too much visual input (i.e. flying paper airplanes) may distract us from what is being said and cause us to miss portions of the spoken word.

4. Auditory: The sounds we hear come in many different forms: melody, intonation, sounds, words, sentences, ‘white noise’, sirens etc. Our brain receives all of this input and sifts through what is relevant information vs. ambient noise. With ample background noise (children moving desks or whispering in a classroom) it may be more difficult to hone in on the salient information that we need (i.e. a teacher giving directions).